Thursday

04


September , 2025
Connection Before Correction How Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Can Transform Workplace Culture
12:01 pm

Mukul Varma


Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), long used in individual and couples therapy, offers powerful tools for the corporate world. While traditional emotional intelligence (EQ) models such as Daniel Goleman’s focus on self-regulation and empathy, EFT goes deeper—helping people understand the attachment needs and emotional triggers beneath workplace behaviours.

Mohita Aggarwal, a psychologist and corporate trainer with over 20 years of  cross-industry experience, has pioneered the application of EFT in organisational settings. Her work focuses on creating psychologically safe workplaces where trust, collaboration, and innovation can thrive.

QYou come from a background in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), traditionally used in couples and individual therapy. What inspired you to apply this model in the corporate world?

Let me begin with a simple truth most of us rarely pause to consider: we don’t leave our emotional patterns at the door when we walk into a corporate building. Through my work with EFT, I’ve discovered something profound—the very same attachment patterns we form in our early years show up in boardrooms, team meetings, and even in how we write Slack messages.

EFT is rooted in attachment theory, which tells us we’re wired for connection. As children, we form emotional maps based on our early experiences—maps that determine how we handle stress, conflict, and intimacy. These don’t vanish with age or job titles. In fact, they resurface—often in the heat of corporate conflict, when feedback feels threatening, or when we’re navigating team dynamics under pressure.

That’s a powerful insight. Can you give us examples of how these attachment patterns play out in the workplace?

Absolutely. In my workshops, I’ve seen high-performing managers go silent when challenged, or team members become defensive if left out of a group email. I worked with a leader who micromanaged not because of a control issue, but because unpredictability felt emotionally unsafe. These aren’t “performance problems” in the traditional sense—they’re attachment needs being activated.

One executive once told me, “No matter how much I do, it’s never enough for my boss.” As we dug deeper, it became clear this wasn’t just about KPIs—it was about an insecure attachment style. He had learned early in life that love and approval had to be earned. That same pattern was now driving him to overextend himself at work.

So what role does EFT play in shifting these patterns?

That’s exactly where EFT becomes a game-changer. Unlike conventional leadership coaching or communication workshops, EFT doesn’t just scratch the surface. It explores the emotional logic behind our behaviours—why we react the way we do, especially when we feel threatened or unseen.

I tell teams: conflict is not dysfunction—it’s often a cry for connection. When people understand the “why” behind their own reactivity, and the “how” behind someone else’s, everything begins to shift. Blame reduces. Empathy increases. Teams stop being just task-focused units and start becoming spaces where people feel safe to be human.

You’ve spoken about the difference between being “smart” and being “wise.” Could you elaborate on that in a corporate context?

Thank you for bringing that up—it’s something I often reference, drawing from Dr. Arlene’s distinction. Smartness, or IQ, gets you the job. It’s your ability to analyse data, solve problems, and think critically. But wisdom determines how long people want to stay in the room with you.

Wisdom is emotional intelligence in motion—knowing what to say, when to say it, and how to listen with presence. It’s the difference between managing a team and truly leading one. In emotionally attuned leadership, decisions are not just efficient—they’re human.

So is emotional intelligence (EQ) the answer to building stronger teams?

EQ is a crucial part of the equation, but here’s the key insight: much of today’s EQ training is cognitive. People learn what to say and how to behave. But that doesn’t always mean they feel what they say. EFT goes deeper. It’s not just about labelling emotions—it’s about understanding the attachment needs behind them.

In corporate life, especially under stress, attachment styles come into play. Avoidant team members withdraw during feedback. Anxious performers overwork for validation. Some managers become controlling because they fear vulnerability. These are not skill gaps—they’re unconscious protective strategies rooted in emotional experience.

That brings us to psychological safety. What’s your perspective on this often misunderstood concept?

Psychological safety is not a soft add-on—it’s foundational. It’s what allows people to speak up without fear, to fail forward, to show up authentically. EFT offers a roadmap to this safety by helping people rewire their emotional responses through corrective emotional experiences—not just theory.

I imagine a team where someone can say, “When I feel unheard, I shut down—not because I don’t care, but because I learned early on that speaking up wasn’t safe.” That’s psychological safety in action. That’s the beginning of genuine connection—and when that happens, performance follows.

Can EFT be scaled for organisational impact, or is it only effective at the individual level?

EFT is highly scalable when introduced with the right framework. In my workshops, I use real-time role plays that allow teams to spot emotional patterns and choose new, safer responses. Once even one person in a team becomes emotionally secure, the negative cycle of blame or shutdown is interrupted. That steadiness anchors the group.

We often talk about culture as strategy. But culture is, at its core, emotional. When people feel safe to be seen, heard, and understood, trust builds. And trust is what fuels collaboration, innovation, and long-term success.

What’s one thing you’d like every leader to know about emotional wellness in the workplace?

That it’s not a luxury—it’s the foundation. One of the most common challenges I see in organisations is not inefficiency—it’s emotional misattunement. People are often reacting from unconscious patterns, not present awareness. The first step is to normalise this. These aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations—protective strategies developed to navigate past pain.

And here’s a guiding principle from EFT: Connection before correction. You connect first. Then you lead. Then you perform. That order is everything.

How would you summarise the power of EFT in today’s corporate landscape?

EQ training gives you the “what” and the “how.” EFT gives you the “why” and the “who.” It takes us deeper, showing us the emotional scaffolding behind every reaction. It turns empathy from a technique into a way of relating.

In a world overflowing with smart people, we need wiser systems. And systems become wiser when people feel emotionally safe. That’s my mission—to help build workplaces where mental well-being is not a buzzword but a lived experience. Because when people feel safe to connect, they don’t just survive—they perform, innovate, and thrive.

My purpose is to bring mental well-being into the heart of the corporate world—not as a soft skill, but as a science of human behaviour. In a world that often mistakes emotional safety for weakness, I believe it is the strongest foundation any organisation can build upon.

In closing, how important is the power of clear, non-blaming communication?

A simple yet powerful way to express emotions in the workplace—and foster psychological safety—is to use this non-blaming structure: “When you [specific behaviour], I feel [emotion], because I need [unmet need].” This format shifts the focus from blame to understanding, encouraging open dialogue and mutual respect. Examples include: “When you interrupt me, I feel dismissed because I need to know my contribution matters.” “When you don’t reply to my emails, I feel ignored because I need clarity to move forward.”

Try your own:

“When you ___, I feel ___ because I need ___.” This simple tool builds connection, reduces conflict, and strengthens team dynamics—one honest conversation at a time. 

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