Life has its own share of bends and curves for each one of us. It is through these bends and curves that the journey of life becomes even more exciting and fun filled. I wonder at times the sheer joy of “wondering” and never giving up.
I was into seven months of pregnancy and swimming in one of the pool resorts with sheer excitement and joy. All had been well with me and I had always been extremely active during my pregnancy. The only desire for me was to have a normal delivery. I did all that I was supposed to do to facilitate this desire. I walked, I swam, I did all the prenatal exercises from the time I had conceived. For me, motherhood would be complete only when I went through the joy of giving birth to a child through the normal process.
Parashar and myself were treating ourselves to a short holiday in Rajasthan before we took a plunge into the world of parenthood. This period is one of the most beautiful ones in a woman’s life. She is treated as a SPECIAL BEING by everyone around her, pampered with food, love and all the best things she could possibly dream of. Parashar too, played a special role by taking care of me in his own special silent ways.
The nine months of sadhana (which I term it as) came to an end as I was being taken to the operation theatre. There was a bag of mixed emotions within. I had been wanting a normal delivery and I did all the right things to have one. Then why was I to be operated! My brother, a liver transplant surgeon living in London was in India for the Christmas vacations. He was standing by my side and explaining to me. “ Manisha, the baby is not growing within and we cannot take a risk of a normal delivery now. We will have to operate you.” As I heard him say this, I gently nodded.
If it had been anyone else I would have insisted on a normal delivery. But since it was my brother I did think twice. I had complete faith in what he had decided for me. In the operation theatre as the doctor was about to sedate me with anesthesia, he showed me the time and said that the baby would take birth before 12 pm (that was the only request my father had placed to him). I smiled and gently told him, “You have always told me that I will have a tall and handsome baby, so shall it be.” The next minute I was off into the world of sedation.
After a while, with half opened eyes, I saw myself being led out of the operation room and voices flooding my ears: “ Congratulations…you have a baby boy…” Parashar, my sister in law, my parents were standing outside the operation theatre with their beaming faces. My brother had to leave for London that same night as his work at the hospital demanded.
That night when I opened my eyes, I saw Parashar standing by my side holding my hands and smiling. His silence and smile conveyed to me what even words could never do. He was thrilled beyond words and beyond any expressions. All he wanted was a safe delivery, for me to be okay first and then the baby. To his joy, we were blessed with a baby boy who would mean the world to both of us.
My pregnancy had been a fairly easy one though I had not been able to put on the required weight. As such, the baby was a “small for date baby” and would require extreme care for the first five months.
My mother had always been my strength and had filled me with spiritual guidance and the right words at the right time. Above all I had just completed my Montessori course in which we had studied in depth about child psychology and the importance of the nine months of pregnancy. So the first glance which I would cast upon my child would have to be that of a healthy, smiling and glowing baby. A lot of emphasis has been laid upon the FIRST GLANCE of a mother for her child. Positive visualization of what we desired for as parents would play a very important role in the child’s life.
As months passed by, he turned out to be a round chubby boy and gained the adequate weight. At the same time with all the love showered by grandparents (as he was the only grandchild), he managed to put on a lot of weight. Towards his young teens, as he was stepping into young adulthood, it became a matter of concern.
I had a choice - be worked up about the circle of concern or do something to get into the circle of influence. I dedicated my second half of the day in taking my son Vedant for physical activity classes and made sure he had good nutrition. While all this was going on, my glance upon him continued to be that of a “healthy happy handsome young Vedant.” Believe me in years to come with dedicated consistent effort towards his health, he became the sought after handsome young adult in the fraternity of his friends.
I contemplated and realised that this could happen only because I believed in NOT GIVING UP and in seeing what I wanted to see. The glance which I would place on anything or person for a very long time with the right mindset, it would eventually take that shape.
If in the initial years I had to work hard and invest my time to make him put on weight and become healthy. Then as he had put on weight, I would still have to hold on to the same faith and belief that he is a healthy happy and charming young child and work towards this.
The words of my MOST REVERED MAHATRIA came as a reiteration to me : “ THE BELIEFS YOU HOLD IN THE BEGINNING OF A JOURNEY DEFINES THE JOURNEY.” I had held on to the belief that Vedant is healthy happy and charming, so he became that and I believed in NOT GIVING UP. Both these attributes worked together in making it a reality.
I truly believe, as my journey has been an exciting and fun filled one, so too each one of you can also experience a happy enjoyable journey with whatever comes your way when you hold on to “ NOT GIVING UP…”
IN SEARCH OF MYSELF
The sky intrigues me
The clouds speak to me
The sea calls out to me
The water refreshes me
Nature rejuvenates me
Trees replenish me
Flowers spread their fragrance
Fruits energize me
The fire fills me with sparks
Its radiance ignites me
The wind blows away all evil
Turns commands into desires
Mother Earth bears me
Withholds all my dreams
Transforms them to reality
As I go deeper within.
In search of myself
I realize the elements
As part of my inner self,
A tiny spec it is, in this universe!