We all know Abhimanyu. He heard about the fight of the world in the womb of his mother. So in the womb of the mother the child starts getting the Sanskars of the parents. That is why it is called Garabh Sanskar. So right from that time the lifestyle of the parent, not just the mother, the lifestyle of the couple, the way they think, the way they speak, the way they behave, the way they live starts impacting the child.
Now when you said it comes to being very over-protective or pampering, it actually means we have given them a lot of what they want and we say no to them for anything. In fact someone said very beautifully that many children are suffering from vitamin deficiency which is vitamin N, the ability to listen to a ‘No’. Because we have everything, we give it to them.
You know many of us have grown up in a time when we didn’t have everything, so we automatically got a lot of ‘No’s in life. Nowadays as we are working very hard and opportunities are so much, we have abundance so we are able to give the child everything. But please remember the child’s ability to listen to a ‘No’, is actually cultivating their adjustment power and their power to tolerate. If at 20/25 years, the child gets everything their way, then suddenly when they are exposed to the world to their spouse, to their work environment, how will they be able to face the world which is not their way?
We are living in a different time, now if they order something it should come in minutes. Otherwise they are allowed to reject it. So they grow up believing that the world is going to be their way. They can click and they can get things, they can order and it is within their reach. So it is a very different mind.
This mind wants the world to be their way and suddenly when the situation is not their way, they haven’t yet cultivated that habit, it impacts many. So we just need to listen, let them listen to a ‘No’ little more, even if we have everything, we need to say a ‘No’. It will help them to adapt and adjust in their life and to remember there is a soul in a journey. We cannot control their destiny.
Our role is to handhold them. We cannot protect them from the challenges of life; we can empower them to face the challenges of life. How do we know what life has stored for tomorrow? If we strengthen them emotionally they will face every challenge in their life.
Question: As you said, while eating we should not watch television or look at our phones but children nowadays particularly young children absolutely refuse to have their food without the television on. So how can they be prevented?
Answer: It will have to start from the parents, so let’s not look at the change created by children. It will have to start from the parents. You know why, because this generation children right again when they are in the womb of the mother, the parents were exposed to technology. Because if you are looking at a child 10 years old today, they have grown up right from the womb with their parents exposed to the technology. Maybe the mother was talking on the phone and eating, maybe the mother was watching TV and eating or the couple, so it is a Sanskar they have come from their womb.
Then what happened because both of the parents were working, they had less time sometimes, so they tried to make up the time by giving the child distraction. Intention was very good, but they didn’t have enough time so they tried to compensate for the time by giving other things. Now if the child has to eat, it takes a little time to feed a young child right, a little kid it takes time.
So if we remember the mother used to tell stories to the child. Now we have the technology. So why does a mother need to tell a story? They can just select a story, put it on the phone and the child will eat the food while listening. This is ‘distracted eating’ because a child is eating, a child is watching something, you can keep putting anything to their mouth, but then Sanskar is created, it happened. So now they are used to distractions with anything. They say how can I eat? It is so boring to eat without anything there. It’s their growing up habits.
So immediately ask them to change it. You can change yourself so the change can begin with the parents. They are supposed to stop using their phones and TV while eating. No means no which means even if there is a phone anywhere for you, you have to put it on silent. Crisis does not come every day but we pick up every phone as if it is urgent. Everything is urgent for us nowadays in life. So 10-15 minutes all that it takes to have a meal with the phone on silent, away from the dining table.
If the parents start doing it then the vibration will radiate to the children. Then only there will be a change there. It has to begin with us, because they got the Sanskar from us. So, the new one will also follow our changes.
Question: The object and method of meditation so as to achieve peace, harmony, purity and finally a sense of the divine.
Answer: Like I shared with you what we learned at the Bramhakumaris School, Rajyog meditation, it is the connection with self and the connection with supreme power. It uses the power of affirmation plus power of visualisation to create any inner preparation and inner programming. We all have used the power of affirmation and visualisation, but we used it to the outer world.
Now we are going to use it here. It experiences a beautiful connection with the divine power. It is a personalised relationship with God where we can start experiencing that energy in every work and in every aspect of our lives. So if you like it or if you would like to learn it, you can visit the Bramhakumaris centres and the sisters will teach you the Rajyog meditation.
It’s a course we do one on one or if you are accompanied by your family just five/six hours every day anytime you choose you can learn it in the centres. So wherever you stay there is a centre within three kms and everything is free. There is never a cost attached to anything for any Seva or any programme at the centre. All that you need to do is take out an hour of a time.
Question: How can harmony be restored in relationships which have gone sour? He gives the particular example of siblings. You know usually rivalry, blame game, so how can we restore happiness, love and harmony?
Answer: Relationship is not about between two people, relationship is between two minds. Don’t wait that they both need to change, only one need to work on the mind. The more you energise yourself on a daily basis, bring your life on to those powerful principles. Your power to accept and adjust will change, your power to let go and to forgive will increase. Relationships will shift to harmony.
Our dadiji used to say harmony means ‘Haar mani, haar mani to harmony ho jayegi’. All you need to do is start taking care. Just give yourself three months to experiment with this.